This post is about the trip i made with my dad to cochin and back. Yea the
same one when he reviewed 'Avial', and said how they should be castrated and all.[refer previous post] The details of the trip follows:
Trivandrum to Cochin.
I drove
Total time taken : 3 hours 30 minutes
Total speeding tickets : none
Details about the trip: If dad cursing my rash driving every 5 mins is not consideredan event, the journey was uneventful.
Cochin to Trivandrum
Total time taken : 5 hours 30 minutes
Total speeding tickets : one
Details about the trip :
dad snatched the keys from me after the marriage, and told me he had enough of my stupid driving.
“U can have my car, when u learn to drive like a grownup”
So off we went...
dad killed 5 people, well almost. 2 with a heart attack. He got 4 middle fingers from drivers of incoming vehicles,1 from a cycle rider.. All this while, he acted cool like nothing happened. And I was playingmy ‘silent rebel’ game too.
There’s this stretch of road from cochin to chertala; which is like the best 400 metre stretch in the indian national highways. If there was an award for the best 400m stretch in Indian national highways, this stretch would really have got that award for the best 400 m stretch in the indian national highways. :) Anyone who doesn’t do a 120 here should be a fukin retard!!! ok this road takes a slight turn when it nears a tree, and voila .... there they are. the kerala police with a big radar contraption they borrowed from the russians or something. It looks like the big bomb in the 'broken arrow' movie. U should have seen me do the funky chicken when my dad took out 300 rs and staggered back to the police jeep. They said he had a 102 goin on a 70 km/hr road and even said an educated grownup like him should be setting an example instead of fooling around like this. 70 km/hr on that road!!!! They gotta be kiddin. But I dint mind. I was trying to hold myself from jumping on to the khaki clad inspector and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
The rest of the journey was pretty uneventful even if dad cursing my stupid driving is considered as an event. Oh yeah the avial review happened somewhere on the way too.
As I steered the car into the lane that leads to my home [refer previous post], my dad said “you can have my car when your house surgency starts; I’ll have yours”. I just said “Ok”. I was still on the silent rebel thing.
this is the new song that my band composed. ill post the youtube link soon. so u can hear it. the songs called:
BACKSEAT DRIVER
and not taxi driver!!! we performed this last week in college and this fat bastard came to me after the show and said, "dude, your new song TAXI DRIVER rocks ". My college sucks mann! [:(]
1 We were out for a drive , these 3 assols n me. When all of a sudden-there was this breeze. Which swept us right off our feet. She was tense, yeah kinda made some sense his mouth was open,he was dumb. And he was jerking off too.
But then I stepped in and said. “come to pappa, baby”[2] said these words as sweet as I could. “come to pappa, baby”[2]
Chorus I’m the back seat rider! Hands on the boot, foot on the wheel I’m the backseat driver!
Im the backseat rider Face in the seat, wait for the beat i'll drive u in the back seat
2 Here we go, You on top .back n forth n round n out. We’ll make it fast or take it slow we'll make it take it the way u want it. keep your toes on the roof,lemme try something new Cuz we did all your fantasies but not even one of mine.
Now that im on top of you “does it feel good baby” [2] Now that im inside you “does it feel good baby” [2]
bridge
i can feel it now i am inside you can u feel it now where the hell are you!
Now we’re kissing, huggin n doin things that ‘lovers’ do She said, "I[ve] been hugged, been kissed But ain't no other boy, make me feel like this So then she sobs and reaches for the door And then She says "you're my sex god"
[The story is entirely fictional and has no resemb to…blah blah]
[No blah : The names of characters have absolutely nothing to do with the two poor guys in my unit. I started writing with their names. I’m too lazy to change now. Don’t go ask them anything. They’ll reverse roundhouse kick u.]
10.40 pm
“what are u guys here for anyway?. U should have slept at MH.”,
he looked really serious this time. Shankar and me looked at each other, blinked in unison and started laughing. It was always funny, when one of us said anything like that; we three being the weakest links of a chain that formed the surgery unit. It was a good joke for the other two, however genuine he looked while delivering it. The rest of the unit dint care. They dint exist. But I think Sarath had been itching to put that scalp suture since 2nd year; for it was why he had been turning up at 6 pm to casualty all this week. And the nice guy that he was, the females were walking all over him and he couldn’t reach anywhere near the patient, let alone suture him. Shankar had put one - 1st day of second year; and me one vigilantly on a sleeping drunk last week. U can’t trust drunks these days. [Two years back u could. I don’t know what happened]. Coming to think of it, I never checked if he woke up.
Today was the last day of surgery casualty posting. But we were starving and wouldn’t let stupid sutures come in the way.
Sarath scratched his head. He was confused. He couldn’t afford to piss off the gang. A solitary weak link is a dangerous thing. He looked at the females on the other side who pretended to read bailey, each silently gearing up for the moment any sorry soul would land in casualty; when they would scream “attack” and start shoving for a place near the perplexed patient. I swear most MI’s reporting at casualty are actually fever cases who pass out when they see the incoming horde. We 3 moving out would mean 3 less people to shove and I hated to think they would be pretty happy about it. But one look into the desolate surgery casualty with flies swooning over the M.O’s mouth was all that was needed to convince sarath. “screw this, lets scoot”
11.15 pm
“man, can u imagine we’re final years now-the senior most batch. We should be getting some respect.” Omelette was first served to this bespectacled junior nearby which prompted Shankar to say this. ”now when did this happen - I cant imagine we’ve finished 4 years in this hell hole.” Chewing on the stone hard paratta, Sarath pretty much looked like a cow while saying this. I smiled. Poor Sarath. He was a terrific guy who had got into JIPMER, CMC and many other abbreviated places before joining here. His dad was an alumnus and he thought it would be pretty cool to follow in his footsteps. He regretted this ever since the first week when this biochem ma’am had insulted him in front of all the batch girls he had arduously impressed over the week. The reason - not stating the chemistry of molisch test convincingly enough. Turns out the ma’am when she was in 2nd yr, was ditched by his nice father in final year, for his mother while she was in 1st year. The maam’s hated 1st years ever since. Sarath quit stating his full name ever since, just in case his dad had made some other friends too.
“I should write about this” I said.
“What”
“About me being the senior and all. I should give some advice to the juniors -about things to do before u pass out, things I wished I had known and so on”
“Yeah right! -one person they need advice is from the biggest screw up in college.”
I’m no masochist but I always liked it when he said that. Sarath was still gnawing on the paratta, so I thought I would cheer him up.
“Man, think this way- At least this place is better than the canteen behind the library. The fans there don’t work cos they dint pay the electricity bill. The tea looks like milk, the milk looks like water, the water‘s got saliva of the ever smiling dude there, who gets even with u for blaming the food”
“True, true, I heard there’s this really cool canteen for staff inside SAT hospital near the O.T, which serves steaming meat rolls and sandwiches. The time is 10.30 morning.”
“Hmmm, We’ll go der tomorrow then before Umesh sir’s afternoon class”
Umesh sir never took the attendance. He never believed in it. Sirs like him restore your lost faith in humanity.
“No way, I’m taking chances with the ward attendance. U guys go wherever u want. Count me out.”
Shankar the pessimist. But maybe he was right. The guy who said size, attitude etc matters, obviously never went to college. Attendance is all that matters. Sarath n I had shortage last year for SPM and ENT which we finally got through, thanks to some groveling, boot-licking, and ass-kissing in the last minute. Shankar had a 99.9%.
We talked about proxy, which loser we could trust, who we could not, when finally Sarath announced he could live without a sutured scalp and didn’t want to go back. Nobody wanted to sit in the canteen anyway. It stank of day before’s sambar, which they were heating up for tomorrow. We thought of walking towards the college for no apparent reason.
12.00 midnight
“Shouldn’t we inform the girls? Maybe they’re missing us”
“They’re frigid man. They wont!”
Shankar was pretty pissed off over the week and I knew why. The surgery PG, on the pretext of teaching suturing was getting extra friendly to our girls, and they were unabashedly playing along too, especially Shankar’s crush. Poor Shankar. He was going crazy, coming to casualty 5 mins before she came, going 5 mins after, and standing by the corner, watching them chat every time in between. The PG was on leave tonight; else Shankar wouldn’t have dared to come with us tonight.
We laughed at a lot of inside jokes about the ladies, and were thoroughly enjoying ourselves now. Then I got reminded of this hilarious ad in TV about new spiritual channels creating awareness among youth. Then for no apparent reason, I thought about karma. Then I thought about my exams.
“Does anybody know when the results will be out?”
“No idea man. Everyone will pass. Don’t u worry”
“I’m not worried, I’m just asking.” I said.
I was worried. I was worried to death about my SPM results...I wish I had more internal marks. You'll never get to know how they calculate your internals. If u get to know, u will never understand it! One fine afternoon in 4th year, when u hear u got a 6/15 on all three subjects, u’ll set out hopping mad, determined to find out all about internals; but halfway through the understanding process, you will collapse in the complexity of it all. All this if u can get through the mob, who’re there to protest against the injustices of a 14.9 becoming a 14.8. It’s a huge mathematical formula involved which they mess up during calculation anyways. It’s not worth it.
“Ever wondered why this junction is called NMJ?” Sarath asked when we reached NMJ.
“No. Why?”
“I dunno. That’s y I asked”
“Maybe its because there’s SCT neuro department on one side and muscular people playing in the ground on the other end.”
“Naah it might be cos, this is the place where muscular guys of MH, and neurotic girls of LH split to goto their respective hostels”
“I like umbilical cord .its so aptly named. obstetric dept on one side and pediatrics dept on the other”. Shankar put in. I dint know where umbilical cord was. I dint dare ask. If u were in final year and u still dint know the local vernacular, they’ll walk all over u. There was a big list of things I dint know and dint dare ask. One in them was cards. If by chance, u happen to enter the men’s common room, never ever [repeat twice] have a look in your face like u know shit about cards. U just need to make noise and look happy when everyone else is looking so. That’s it! You’re in the group! Half of them don’t know cards anyway.
Sarath was getting a couple of misscalls, blank calls and messages and looked pretty happy now. I looked at my phone. It hadn’t come alive since the ‘mytoday’ msg which woke me up in the morning. Maybe there is some problem with it.
“Which one is it now?” Shankar teased Sarath, punishing himself in the process.
”oh just this girl I met the other day.”
“what happened to the one u were in love with last week?”
“oh, we’re just friends now”
I smiled. Sarath had made like a million friends since 1st year, while I was busy wondering who in college I would best have a crush on. I had made a million crushes too. Your crushes will grow up even if u wont. By 3rd year they’ll start marrying. U’ll goto their weddings, happily pose next to the groom, even frame a pair of horns behind him, and return home listening to some depressing breakup song. Life sucks. We continued walking.
1.30 am
“my college is better than yours. my college is better than yours. my college is better than yours” shankar was chanting.
“dude,we in the same college! U feeling sleepy?”
“oh sorry, its this method I learnt to treat depression. It’s called affirmation therapy. I think I have depression”,
“really, where did u learn it from?”
“I learnt it from orkut. U should repeat the opposite of the root cause again and again.”
Sarath n me laughed our asses off. This social networking site had captured the imagination of all youth in the country. Everyone now believes they can get laid through orkut. It just takes a little time to figure out u cant, when u’ll quit sadly cursing the months wasted in front of it, like when I quit last week.
We were sitting in front of the dissection hall. We had come here half an hour ago, kept ears to the door, checked for voices inside, had imagined some, talked about ghosts, got afraid and had finally got bored when Sarath had started chanting.
“Dude did u see the guy that hanged inside MH gym, last year”
“Nope, I saw this guy though in 1st yr, in a tree close to the quarters behind the library”
“Oh, damn, I missed that”
I did not speak. I had seen the frail hanging bodies of both. What is it with dead guys and me? They were both people from outside the campus. I wondered why they came inside the campus to hang themselves. We talked about death, how people move on, and how u’re a fool if you wonder how people have moved on.
“I wish I was in labour room” I suddenly announced to change the topic, being pretty scared and depressed with it.
“Yeah. It was way better than surgery casualty anyway” Shankar replied, suddenly nostalgic, and fed up of casualty for obvious reasons. Of course there were horny house surgeons everywhere in labour room, but they never counted when compared to the emotional security a PG could give to our girls.
“By the way, did u find out Hitler’s name?” sarath asked me smiling.
As long as u don’t let the opposite sex take advantage of u, labour room and surgery casualty are the most awesome postings ever. If you don’t like them, u should probably drop out of med school. Seriously! I missed Hitler nurse. Hitler nurse was this horrid looking nurse, single handedly responsible for the smooth functioning of the labour room. She’s not the nurse who runs to the bed when the pg screams ”chechi,trolley” nor she’s the one who scrubs and makes the baby cry; she’ll come once everything is set [lithotomy position, the lights, the pgs] and just meditate by the side of the mother. She takes charge only when the mother is either making a big fuss and noise about things, or if she is taking too long, when she’ll come close to the patient inches from her eyes and ears and then holler, ”daii kochene,pettanu presavichittu,veetil ponendo illeyo?;namukku okke poyittu pala paniyum ulletha”. I swear babies shoot out like geysers when hitler nurse is in control,and PG’s - a metre away from the bed to catch them. One night during posting, while she was waiting to scare the uterus out of a delivering patient, I gathered courage and crept upto her, and asked her her name. She gave me a weird look, eyed me from top to bottom and said ”Shantha, ente peru Shantha”, much to the laughter of the pgs and ma’ams there. Little did I know “Shantha” was supposed to be the female counterpart of our own “shashi, pappu etc”. She thought I was going to complain about her.
“Shantha, shantha is her name.” I answered.
3.30 am
Our asses had hurt sitting there for 2 hours and we were walking around college for some time now. None of us had spoken for a long time. We were not sleepy though. It was one of those serene silent walks- where no one talks but everyone’s just glad they’re together. Each of us lost in our own thoughts. I silently wished this would continue forever.
3.35 am
Maybe it was some poisonous vapor in the air near B Pharm College or something, we got paranoid. Each of us had started to wonder what the other would be thinking about. The silence soon began to get pretty weird then. Suddenly everyone feared to break the silence, and wished someone else would. When we reached close to the pharmacy campus, a black stylish Zen with spoilers, blue neons, extra brake lights, etc materialized from apparently nowhere and whisked past us in a fury.
“Dai, what’s that car doing here at 3 o clock in the morning”
“I wouldn’t know” Sarath was grinning broadly.”I’ve heard stories of a lot of cars in the college after midnight.”
I said “hey Shankar, do u remember the time we set out to explore the path from respiratory medicine to the college ground during second year”
“Happiest moment in my college life man, how can I forget?”
“There’s a path from Pulayinarkotta to the college ground and I dint even know?” sarath’s grin had a guilt tinge to it now.
“that was when u were counting the ribs in chest x-rays to impress those girls, u idiot“ ,while Shankar explained everything about the trip, I thought about that day. There’s this long forgotten short cut across fields, trenches, streams, barbed fences etc that every guy should take someday. A compass could help. The feeling when u finally reach the ground is breath taking. U’ll know its close when u jump a wall and land in a ‘broad smiling, newspaper reading, lungi clad middle aged’ man’s courtyard, who’ll sprint down to you as if he had been looking forward to your visit, and show u the rest of the way. Make sure u have your steth with u though.
3.45am
Of all the places, Sarath wanted to go to pulayinarkota from the college ground now. We tried to bring some sense to him.
4.00am
We had reached the broad smiling man’s home, had seen and heard the big dog there, panicked, ran and was now tired and resting somewhere near the middle of the cricket ground. Sarath had been the first to run and we were now slaughtering him.
“I should write about this” I said seeing the hilarious look on sarath’s face.
“What”
“Everything that happened this night”
“You and your stupid writing-it sucks anyway” Sarath shot back.
That hurt. I desperately searched for a comeback. But recalling something I had taught myself over the years, I smiled. Never care to defend yourself. It’s not worth it. Take everything lightly. Just keep smiling. They never mean anything they say anyway. They’ll criticize u, laugh at u, ridicule u, walk all over u. it’s an inverted bell shaped [v shaped?] curve plotted against ‘how well you’re doing’. Just play along.
“what is that u are drawing?”
I had unintentionally drawn a V in the cricket pitch. I tried hard to remember one among the million V graphslearnt over the 4 years, cursed my stupid memory and said, ”its nothing, just an underwear”
4.15 AM
Someone wanted to walk the road in front of LH. Someone said no. Someone was very sad. Then someone came up with the topic of shooting stars.
4.45 AM
We had been scouting the night sky for half an hour now, looking for the first shooting star of our lives-4 dumb medicos who wouldn’t realize a constellation, if it was thrust into their faces. My neck hurt then. My legs were itching and something was biting somewhere around my crotch. I stood up and stretched.
“To hell with shooting stars, I’ll still live”
Sarath said,” Don’t lose hope man. NASA says u can see 12/hour.”
I said, “I had enough anyway.eda just remembered, its Ameena’s wedding tomorrow. u going?”
“Today”
“Who’s Ameena?”, Shankar asked
“It’s the girl in our class with horn rimmed glasses and black hood. I talked to her for the first time last week when she gave me the card. I’m not going. I hardly know her.”
“Same here, then I’ll not go too.”I said.
“Dude, I can’t even figure out who Ameena is!!” As Sarath helped Shankar remember, I itched my crotch, wondered whether it’s the same state in junior batches and silently wished I had talked more to more people.
“There it is!”Sarath screamed.
“What?”
“Look up you dumbo”
I looked up to the empty starry sky; then looked down. Both of them were on their feet now, making a hell lot of noise, hugging each other, with the widest smile I’ve seen on their faces since passing 1st year. I choked in my misery. They started describing it, where it came from, where it ended, how big it was and finally ended with the notes “It definitely did live up to the hype”, “You are one big stupid person” and “You should get a life”.
“The story of my life” .I screamed as I jumped to the ground swearing I won’t rise until I saw one tonight, while both of them in high spirits took a wish together:
“we wish we’ll pass final year”.
Now I was desperate. They sat down again, laughing at my big round eyes frantically scanning the skies, and continued chatting. I could hear them but I brought myself back each time. “There’s got to be more.12/hr” I thought.
8.00 am
“Thump”
I woke up with a simmering pain in my forehead, a throbbing neck, a sore back and mosquito bites all over my body; waking up from a nightmare, where I was spread-eagled on the labour room table with hitler nurse by my side. I looked around with the confused eyes of a newborn getting a whole body scrub. There was a tennis ball 2 meters away from me, close to where Sarath and Shankar lay. A lot of kids were laughing in the distance-the ground almost full with morning joggers, footballers, kids of all ages, and cricketers practicing in the pitch by the side. Sarath’s phone was ringing. I looked at mine. No misscalls. One “mytoday message” was all that there was. Then I noticed the time.
“holy shit”
I guess Sarath noticed it too. We kicked Shankar up and was running to 8 am surgery class in no time, him leading the way.
“We should do this some other time”, Sarath yelled, out of breath, scratching his whole body at the same time.
“Not in my life. I hope Umesh sir is taking morning class too” Shankar screamed back. I barely heard them. I was saying to myself,
”Waking up in the grass and going to class. I will write about this someday”.
I went crazy last week, i mean actually crazy! not crazy enough to slit someones throat, but enough to actually think about doing it. Anyone whose seen the movie TAXI DRiVER will get an idea of my state now.. . And it is in such a state that i write this.:
Dear friend, Hope u are fine and this letter reaches u in good health. U might be wondering who the hell this is and where this dropped from……in case you’re getting nervous, don’t worry… we’ve met….met sometime before when 15 of us used to visit there daily … - 14 with steths, notepad, torch, knee hammer, CNS kit, tape, glucose ,bible and phoney smiles and one wide eyed weirdo with almost straight hair looking like a nut less squirrel, without any accessories [including the smile].– that would be me !! I’m writing this letter to inform you of the termination of your sickening life in this hellhole…..happy days are back again…u know y???? I’M COMING OVER….…..find me a bed on the right side from where u can see the coffin shop and the pg hostel …………..make sure I get to occupy the bed next to yours, and nowhere else…tell those dissenting I hacked 4 of my classmates on the process of becoming insane….. I’m writing this letter to you because everyone here has had enough of me whining around, especially when I wrote something last time, so I thought maybe I’ll write to you…I thought u wont complain …. ‘cos ….’cos- No apparent reason. I just thought u wouldn’t complain….that’s how I thought you were…maybe you wouldn’t know but these days i think a lot about you…..dream about how your life might be, how similar our thoughts might be, how your kids might be, how they talk, play and all that…. Nobody cares for all my stupid thoughts I know… …not even you, I’m sure….but still I thought I should let you know how much I do think ,especially so in these last days when our batch souvenir is about to be published…..[:p] …..leave all the pointless dramatic beginning I’m trying to create to impress you[believe me…………you’re really worth it!!!], ill tell you about my college….and why I’m coming over!! I’ve had enough ……..I thought I could stay low and pass out unassumingly but those hopes remain distant now that there’s about 4 more years to go…don’t think I can make it alive or sane till the very end………and after that??? I tried searching around for a word that conveys “not sure about anything in life [unsure about everything in life] ”…u get the idea now anyways ..no use searching….. But I’ve started to pass sessionals!!!! for the first time since I came here…do not think I’ve gone crazy over the shock of it ….its not that……all this time nobody used to give a shit about your studies…..but now that you’ve passed, immoral accusations [that I cant even imagine] come from all sides……..listening in class, hard work and intelligence can drive people jealous…..’Course u should know….. The girls out here…..are so depressing, disheartening, demoralizing, and dismaying to watch….one whole year spent in college finally taught u to ‘acclimatize’ to the fact that they suck and just when u start to recognize a tinge of beauty[glimmer of hope] if any within them, a vacation sets in…and when u return to class and see them filling in one by one…… the truth again lashes at u with a toothed whip, toothed with their attitude….[but I’ve learnt these days u do get acclimatized easily {written so just in case this letter falls in the wrong hands}] We started a band, and had been jamming for long till when our name got stolen by one of the best college bands in the state…..now to keep us reminded of the dilapidated state that we are in [own just a drum set poor Surej bought the day after Sivamani talked to him in a wet dream he had]…..now we’re pretty well ‘acclimatized to our dilapidated state’ and have even decided to rename our band as A2D [acclimatized to dilapidation]…… do tell me if u like the name. or should we name it ATP??? [Adenosine triphosphate –something that keeps us alive {that’s all even I know}] Every time anyone from your school gets placed..* * * * er makes it a point that the first thing he does is call you and inform u of the no of zeros in his fathers salary [correction-his salary]……..like I care. U can find him usually hanging up the phone with the following dialogue ”nee first yr passayade???” U wont lose those chess matches with superman again……….and we’ll teach that smug creature…UCA [universal controller of administration] a lesson…has he been troubling u with all those tales about why Sania mirza is his daughter??? don’t u worry…I’m coming over….ill teach him why…. We’ll strike and get a life…….We’ll strike for air conditioning, good looking nurses, western closets in the bathrooms and weekly interaction trips to female wards, and when those white coats come with their phoney smiles and notepads..…..don’t u worry ill drive them away with brooms………maybe they’ll take me to electrocute like in those movies but I don’t think I would mind that at all ……looking forward to it!!! We’ll play strip poker and all those naughty games and have fun……..and make so much noise that they’ll take us to the asylum in peroorkada…….u haven’t been there????? I went there once with a steth around my neck….. It’s the best mann [though I missed a lot of it owing to dim-witted doubts of a lunatic among our midst]…..its heaven save for a crazy ###### behind bars who occasionally gives u a glimpse of his genitals ….I almost vomited……don’t worry we’ll take necessary action[censored]. The rest of them are really cool……one of them even asked me to smuggle him out…..wonder y he wants to???? We’ll hide those pills [lesser minded jealous ppl give us to reduce our thinking capabilities] underneath our tongue and spit them off later…or shove it all up their ass……….we’ll teach all those megalomaniacs [superman and UCA] a lesson…….we’ll dedelude them…..ill pretend to learn the game from superman and then defeat him…….. That’ll drive him REALLY crazy!!!! Don’t u worry…. Don’t worry if u are suspicious of your wife……I was too when I had a gfriend back when I was 6…….ill tell u what!!! divorce her…..its the only way u can be free…….i wont say you’ll not miss her…..I tend to think about her some times when i see sick ‘best friends’ walking around or when u stay alone at home with nothing else to do ….but that doesn’t mean you’re in love… trust me……..in the end you’ll thank me for it!!! I promise u…… Speaking about best friends…..they’re everywhere!!!! Walking around campus, hospitals, library, jungles etc……its all so sick to watch…...we’ll discuss about the Freudian aspects of it all later when I come there…….too broadminded [for us] to pen down!!!! I’ll try to come over with my friends too but they say I’m the only one who’s crazy….They say I’m crazy cos I laugh a lot and cos the sight of plastic glove clad waiters at Gauri Nivas makes me go there again ….wonder what it is for u???? Do u also dream within dreams??….. and wake up and wonder which dream u actually woke up from??? Do bad hair days stress u up????….cant get a tune out of your head???? …. Love clean food and wash your hands often???....love to be alone once in a while???? ………does all this make us insane?????…but don’t worry, we wont suffer…we’ll enjoy every minute of our insanity….. I do believe it takes a lot of creativity and intelligence to be the people that we are………we’re geniuses mann….…we’ll have our own units to scale our self....... And by the way if this is that part in a letter where u really get, up close with the person addressed to, I'll tell u a secret! Have u ever had thoughts that u might be biggest sex maniac in the world or something....i guess everyone has that. I had them too till i opened my forensic text book, we're nowhere close man, there are real 'crazy' people out there doing things - even we'll need time to think off. I'll send the text over with a strip ofdomperidone. Whatever u do u cant unsee certain things that'll make a lasting impression. So do handle the book with care. So coming back to our strategy ....When the doctor comes for rounds , we’ll look busy and speak big philosophy among ourselves just so at a volume that he might overhear them…..we’ll make him strain every time to overhear us …. we’ll give him a bit of philosophy everyday…..the second time we’ll speak softly and make him strain even more and so on…. so that ….some day he’ll go crazy turning over all that accumulated philosophy in his mind…or someday he’ll go crazy when we’ll sadistically deprive him of his daily dose of imperative philosophy [either of the 2]…..and then the three of us would discuss together……and play strip poker together too……and maybe someday we’ll start our own religion……people might worship our idols…[Oo I’m getting Goosebumps just thinking bout it] Do u really remember me??? If u don’t I don’t blame u….u might have seen me behind all those white coated case takers…staring noticeably openmouthed at you over their shoulders…….I’m sorry I never came forward and talked……truth is I was afraid and I thought u hated us all….[I wouldn’t like those phoneys if I were u]…but I guess u were too scared to drive them off……don’t u worry….. I’m coming over…..remember the time when you said u were not mad and your relatives tricked u to this hellhole……u did’nt expect anyone to believe you right??? ..but I did, I really did….. By the way, I forgot to tell u about autopsy……its one of the oldest secrets of med school…it’s a means by which lesser hardened students will voluntarily resign from med school, without making any big fuss about it…….ever smelt a meat factory??? The smells better here……I closed my mouth and swallowed my vomit 6 times when the doctors bent down and sniffed the poison and decayed stomach, like dopers on coke.…..that’s gross even for me………but the best part is the sound when the rippers [attendants] separate the vault from the rest of the skull……there are two of them out there, one male and female……people I’m sure in love with each others sadisms [like kinky horror films]….u should see them hammering at the skulls of neighboring bodies in unison taking pauses to grin at each other perhaps to say. “I broke it first this time”…………the sounds are the best part especially when they separate the meninges from the skull…funny I felt like hearing coconut husk being removed….and did you know post mortised bodies have their brains, intestines, kidneys, liver everything sliced and tucked up within their chest???? I dint know that… First time I saw it I thought they made a mistake……, .but I can never describe autopsy…u should see it for yourself…..will give us lots of philosophy to discuss about……..maybe I could smuggle u in some day…..we’ll see about that… I guess this should be enough…..I feel relaxed already…….Though this letter is meant especially for the patient in bed no 9 ,ward 23 psychiatry unit, I’ve got a strange and equally sad feeling you’re not there…..and you’re some place else ….’cured’ and well and playing with your kids…do they ask about their divorced mom??? Do remarry and do it soon …… Expecting your reply in a little while….and if you’re not there….I expect someone out there to reply to me [except if you are ‘grandeured’…..if u are and u happen to read this letter…..don’t u dare touch my letter, give it to someone else…..i hate u , hope you rot and then burn in hell] and if you’re not ‘grandeured’ ……don’t worry……just try not to think too much – lifes not worth that much[that’s the key]. …. happy days are back again. …...I’M COMING OVER!!!!!!
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